xxxNews Of The Weirdxxx
Bizarre but true stories about real people collected by syndicated columnist Chuck Shepherd.
The unnamed young man who won the latest “Jackass” contest, sponsored by Chicho’s Restaurant in Virginia Beach, Va., in August, first came to the attention of police when he was spotted wandering around at 1 a.m. bleeding from an amateur Mohawk haircut. Also, his chest, stomach, buttocks and legs were heavily industrial-strength stapled, and he had slice marks on his side and a broken collarbone (from a back flip off the bar). He had also swallowed and vomited a live goldfish and broken a beer bottle over his head, but all in all, he said, he was proud. (The restaurant manager was fired.)
Three of these four things really happened recently. Are you cynical enough to figure out the made-up story?
(a) A state Sierra Club official, hiking with friends, was struck and killed by lightning.
(b) A family in India was reported to have 175 members, who eat meals in shifts of 25 to 30 and require about 1,500 weekly servings of fresh-baked bread.
(c) Federal and state officials managed to shut down a smuggling tunnel running from Nuevo Laredo, Mexico, to Laredo, Texas, on the ground that it violated U.S. mine safety standards.
(d) Among the recent priorities of Netherlands’ Labour Party is legislating a ban on the forcible licking of people’s toes.
(Answer: The third choice, answer c, is made up.)
Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, Fla. 33679 or [email protected]
Copyright © 2001 by Chuck Shepherd
NEWS OF THE WEIRD