EDITOR’S VIEWPOINT/Utah town’s ordinance is simply U.N.believable

All I can say is, thank God for LaVerkin, Utah. I am heading straight for that little desert town in the event that we are attacked by diplomats.

Such an attack couldn’t happen in LaVerkin. That’s because, in a move stunning in its total meaninglessness, the LaVerkin City Council voted 3-2 to make the town a “United Nations-free zone.” The ordinance bans the use of town funds for U.N. activities (Kofi Annan is probably losing sleep over that one) and prohibits the “involuntary servitude” of any resident in any U.N. peacekeeping mission. It also requires residents who support the U.N. to post signs to that effect on their property.

(The ordinance has been watered down on the advice of the city attorney because, well, it’s unconstitutional. I am constantly amazed by the proclivity of some people to hide behind their interpretations of some amendments — for argument’s sake let’s say, oh, the second — while running roughshod over the greatest amendment of all: the one repealing prohibition. I mean the first.)

LaVerkin Mayor Dan Howard was positively eloquent in his defense of the ordinance. “We’ve been pushed far enough and long enough,” he told the Salt Lake Tribune. “We’re tired of marching to [the U.N.] agenda. Maybe now we can start to march on [sic] our own agenda.” I know exactly what he means.

I don’t know about you, but I am sick of having my tax dollars appropriated for silly things like keeping Serbs from killing Croats and Croats from killing Albanians (for cryin’ out loud, they don’t even speak English!) and trying to keep malaria from killing children in Africa and South America (if they don’t want to get it, they should stay inside in the air conditioning).

It is probably worth noting that the town is having a tough time convincing its police department that this is an issue worthy of pursuing. Of the town’s five officers, one resigned because he didn’t feel he could enforce an ordinance that would “violate someone’s civil rights,” and another left because, as he told the police chief, his position with the Utah National Guard conflicted with the ordinance.

LaVerkin is not the only southwestern Utah town to take on an issue of such unparalleled significance. Nearby Virgin recently passed an ordinance mandating that every family in the town own a gun. (Presumably the two are now working on a joint ordinance that would require residents of Virgin (Virgins?) to shoot any costumed waifs they see trying to collect pennies for UNICEF in LaVerkin on Halloween.)

Yes, thank God for LaVerkin. It makes every other city’s government — even Miami’s — look reasonable.