Arrest me, please

Maybe they have a swimming pool or a golf course or just really good grilled cheese sandwiches. Whatever the reason, police in Pennsylvania say a man tried to rob a bank of $1 apparently because he hoped to be sent to a federal prison nearby, according to The Tribune-Democrat.

Police in Northern Cambria, Pa., say the man entered an AmeriServ bank branch — where he is a well-known, regular customer — and went up to a teller. He took out paper and a pen and wrote a note demanding $1. Oh, and he told the teller he’d wait until police arrived.

The teller — remember, she knew the guy — thought it was a joke. When they guy insisted it was robbery, the teller sent him to the next window (the Robbery Window, apparently).

But the would-be robber got no love at the next window either. That teller thought it was a joke also. (Sorry, robberies only on Tuesdays and Thursdays.)

Finally, the man spoke to a new accounts employee — no kidding — and told her too that he was robbing the bank for a buck. She took a dollar from her purse and gave it to him. Then she called police.

When police took the man into custody, he had two notes. One note politely announced, “Federal bank robbery. Please hand over $1.00.” The other note said, “FBI custody. Preferbly (sic) Loretto Pa.,” an apparent reference to a prison in central Pennsylvania.

The robber hasn’t made it to the Loretto federal pen yet. Instead, he’s lodged in the Cambria county prison facing three robbery charges. He can bail out on $50,000, a local judge said — but only after he’s tested to see just how crazy he is.